The other day, while having a conversation with an old friend, I was told how much I have changed over the years and the energy when that was said didn't feel good at all, I had a feeling it was not meant as a compliment, in fact I was positive.
As soon as I hung up, I instantly started questioning everything; did I do the right thing, did I make the right choices, am I too much for some people, maybe my dreams are too big, who am I to go after them and who am I to think that I have what it takes to actually feel like I am worthy of living my dreams?
I agree that I have grown 100%, in MY RESILIENCE, my thoughts, my lifestyle, my demeanour, my dreams, my focus, my confidence, my view about myself, my attitude…. and I think all the change is for the better, (I am not perfect by any means), but I have a better life because of all the positive changes and most importantly those changes are better.... FOR ME. Isn't that all I should be concerned about?
But why, now, was I questioning it all?
Sometimes the closest people to you are the ones that are resistant to you changing or growing. Why? Because it reminds them that they are not…. It can make them feel guilty for staying where they are, or mad that you have the guts to go after what you want and they don’t or can't. If you are out chasing and slaying your goals and making changes to your life that are for the better it can remind others that they have goals too, but just not willing to do the work to accomplish them and that reminder for some people, is hard.
Seriously, I bet on the inside they are totally cheering you on but they will never show it. Why? Why can't we be on each others side? Why can't we cheer each other on, especially as women? Why can't we genuinely want the best for each other? Then, they tend to push back and make what YOU are doing something bad, not acceptable or too much.
It 100% is not too much!! They are YOUR dreams and YOUR goals, why would you need the acceptance or approval from someone else. Most of my life I have been that person that needs that approval from others and what I realized, as I have grown over the last few years is that it’s really not about you AT ALL.... it’s about them.
If you like what you are doing and you feel good about what you are doing, if they are your dreams and goals and you have the courage to go after them... DO IT!!!! This is your one precious life and you do what’s right for you, what YOUR heart wants!!!
Don’t ever let someone else who is not in the game getting dirty with you, someone who is not out there making better life choices or who has not done what you are trying to do - give you advice or tell you how to live your life. And in their defence, they are not doing it on purpose, they are not doing it too you... they are doing it to make themselves feel better…. But don’t buy into it, not for one minute.
You are worth every single goal you go after, every single goal you accomplish, every single positive life change you make and you don’t need permission or a pat on the back from anyone!!! Just do you, without any hesitation!!!
So when this phone conversation ended, I hung up the phone, paused, took a deep breath and I sent love to my friend… I wasn’t angry or sad that I did not have her support, I just accepted it for what it was and accepted her for what she thought - she is, after all, allowed to have her own feelings and thoughts. I was able to let go of any thoughts and emotions that came up that made me question everything I have done and was in the process of doing.... and I sent her love. I reminded myself that this was all of her stuff, not my stuff and I sent her love. I really just let it fall off my shoulders and sent her lots of love.
It felt so friggin good to do that, to feel positive and empowered after that conversation which could have ended badly… for me. I could have ended up questioning myself, my goals, my accomplishments, all that I have done to change myself for the better… but I didn’t… I felt empowered that I could, after all that, send her lots of love and light.
I am sharing this story with you in hopes that when you encounter something like this, which I know most of us do on a daily basis, you can just let it go and send the other person lots of love!